Random thoughts

" Dont cry because it’s over, smile because it happened."

What a nice quote. something that we should remember everyday.

It’s 1.10 am and I suddenly feel like blogging. Maybe it’s because the exciting night I had. (haha office can be quite exciting sometimes)

Ok. My result it’s ok. More than Ok I guess. It’s the best i’ve had hoped for. But strangely after I got the result I suddenly wanted it to be better. I think it’s just the human instinct to always want to be better than others. Or is it? Is competition and wanting to win a good thing? Is ambition a good thing? Does academic result mean everything? (Lots of ppl will say that it doesn’t. But if you do a reality check, the answer is that YES it is everything.)

I think I’m lucky. I’m a terribly blessed person, and I don’t think I know the value of really working hard to achieve your goals. I seldom have personal goals or ambition. Is that a bad thing?

Probably I’d yes at this point in time. I want to know what I want to do. I think I know, but I’m not sure. Ambivalent. I’ve had to choose between 2 choices rather often lately. and i would never know which one to pick. (both? haha!)

Should you go for things that you are already familiar with? or should you go to the unchartered land, unknown but might offer so much more?

Should you randomly follow your instinct, or calculate throughly using your brain?

sleepy.

hm. the last time i blogged was 4 weeks before prelims. Here i am now, 17+ hrs before the release of A lvl result. How time flies.

Looking back, i probably regret not putting in much effort in my j1 year (and half of the j2 year actually, haha..), and for not caring enough for gp. haha. we’ll see tmr how it all turns out to be. and the thing is, i’m still rather optimistic abt my result. which is bad. so bad. coz if it doesn’t turn out so well i’ll just freak out. i dun have a Plan B. wait. I dun even have plan A yet. haha.

yups. lets try to recall what I did since the previous post.

guitar seniors farewell. that was fun.. running around Yu ping’s condo. and eat steamboat. MLDDS senior’s farewell was fun as well. although not so many ppl.. but food was good. and karaoke was rather fun. haha.

studying for prelims. I can’t actually remb whether I studied much. quite sure I did quite a lot of chem and left bio to the very last minute. haha.

various IP outings, celebrating birthdays. those were FUN! hehe. we never get our shirt.. hmmm…

staying at hostel, trying to study before A’s.. I though that’s the most boring time ever.. I knew that I should study, but at the same time having all day to study just makes me feel that i have so much time. haha. dun think i did much. seriously. remb doing chem tys mcqs. and panicking the night before econs coz i havent done so many standard essays.

After A’s was madness shopping for prom. hahaha. went out like almost everyday. now thinking about it, prom was rather overrated. but yeah, the dressing up and taking picture part was fun. oh went to malaysia for a few days. basically just went shopping. and eating GOOD food. haha.

prom was FUN. (although i was rather late). everyone was so PRETTY/dressed up. took many2 pictures. after that went ard clarke quay with the class. hmmm maybe i should have come for after prom..

yups. that’s my life from 30 July to 4Dec 2007. shall post more later

hm. prelims is in ard 4 weeks i think. yea. hahaha. funny how A levels is supposed to determine my life forever ( maybe, maybe not) but i just don’t seem to care about it very much. it’s just another exam anyway. haha.

i guess i’m very at lost at times… i can be very motivated on one day, and just don’t care on the next day.. haha…

it’s quite irritating to think of it sometimes, the fact that i’m only studying for a’s is just to get the grades at the end of the day.. as in i dun think i’ll ever going to take econs again in my whole life.. and i’m supposed to know how to solve inflation, while maintaining low unemployment, high growth and external stability. huh. i guess i’m not making sense here.

and there’s e whole uni application. and everyone is applying to us/uk. this is v scary. i dunno how many ppl actually knows what they want to do, or maybe it’s just me who is confused. but sorry, i don’t believe that you can change your mind abt what you want to do in life just in 2 weeks time.

i wish i could just be in IP2 forever… no a lvls to think about. haha… and you’re not supposed to be thinking abt it in e first place! you should study! haha (but i dont.)

hm… yeah… i shouldn’t be doing this at all.. esp after some disastrous ct result today.. haha… it’s really quite disastrous.. i think i have serious problem in studying the right things.. i seem to be studying the wrong things all the time.. and i hate the fact that i just can’t get it right during exams even though i might have some idea of what is right… haha.. teachers will probably say "that’s lack of exam preparation"… well… arrgh…

and i hate the fact that some ppl just can’t keep quite… that’s so irritating…

oh suddenly remember something that was said during maths… you must reflect when you’re studying… well i guess i’m good at the reflecting part, not the studying part..

The most enjoyable part of the day was when i was playing the piano.

horoscope:

If you’re being totally flirtatious with someone who isn’t receptive, move on!

haha.. funny..

hm… this month has been eventful.. jazz night, college day, fu outing, syf celebration, malay drama night, council invest, track and field meet (and class dinner, haha), boarding school invest, guit recital today, open day outing tmr… haiz. the bottomline is : not much money left. haha

but yeah, still can’t bring myself to start studying.. blah.

council invest was ok. the taking photos part was fun. and it’s quite cool this year with the candles and stuff. and they have nice song!

boarding school invest brought back a lot of memories. really. how i used to panick a lot before the event, how the GOH always comes at the wrong time, how relieved we felt after he leaves (haha), meetings until midnight, sunday morning meetings for constitution, the first speech i made for election, orientation, the first banner i painted with the deco comm, ignite!, ac high table dinner, inter boarding school games (we’re still champion btw! yay!), the video for indo national day, the chalet, and finally luminescence. This is where i grow, and i’m thankful to those people who’s helped a lot along the way, coz without them i wil not be who i am right now.

love the enthusiasm the 7th BC has. they even danced! haha. hope more people will care abt the boarding school the way they do. All the best for them.

hm yea.. haven’t even blogged abt guit syf. njc guit got gold with honours btw. haha. i shall write this thing first.

I hate people who says a lot but don’t do what they say. I think that sucks. Really. They’re no better, or even worse, than people who doesn’t say or do anything.

It’s really quite funny how people can just talk about those things like a few minutes ago, and when asked to apply it, they just don’t, most people just didn’t care and leave. haha.. I mean it’s really funny..

then some other ppl can just talk so much and so loudly when other people do certain things.. but when it turns out that they do the same thing, they just laugh at it.. no it’s not funny.. but they laughed anyway.. and said that it doesn’t matter..

yups.. and back to those who talk but don’t do… i guess it’s much easier to move your tongue than your hands… i’m not referring to any specific person here.. but think abt it, how many of us actually do half of the things that we say? I suppose I myself doesn’t have the right to complain abt this thing.

I’m really quite dissapointed lar.. really… things that coming out from the mouth doesn’t translate into action. and the worse part is.. they are actually asking other people to do the things they are talking about… and people have to bear consequences if they don’t. but what abt themselves? i don’t think this is fair at all. and they speak about fairness all the time. haha. funny.

sorry but I don’t and I might never will believe you. That’s a sad fact. I really want to believe, but i can’t.

Oh… I’ve just realized how much responsibility I carry… and I’m scarred.. really scarred… I think i’ve lost my focused these days..

Yeah.. the first thing on my list now would be guitar syf.. I don’t think I have put in my best effort up to this day.. and it’s only 19 days to syf.. i don’t know how many ppl actually realise how shoart 19 days is.. and there are only practically 11 practices left.. arrgh! I really want to belive in everyone and belive that we’ll be alright.. but at the same time i can’t stop doubting.. do ppl really care? coz if they don’t it’s going to be real tough to gel everyone together.. and are they willing to just be fully committed for just these 19 days? I hope everyone is.. I know they say it’s the process that matters most.. Nonetheless I know how great the disappointment will be if we don’t get gold.. I’m glad that some ppl do share the anxiety and commitmet.. Will never make it without them..

Hm.. sadly or strangely.. i also start doubting myself.. am i doing the right thing? i hope i am.. God pls help us..

In the middle of common test right now… only bio paper and chem spa left though… the previous papers were ok i guess… except econs… haha.. and maybe gp… hope i can do well in gp coz i really like my essay topic… gp essays can be quite interesting sometimes… but somehow i feel the questions are getting harder…

played in hc talent time last saturday, without practice as usual.. haha.. but we got third, not bad…

oh a lvl result came out on friday… malay result also… finally dun have to take malay anymore… but it’s quite useful though… sort of learnt another language…

friday was fun… met lots of ppl… esp guit ppl… went ard to take picture…. guess i kinda miss the guit j3s… practices were so fun back then, not that it’s not so fun now…. but it’s just different i guess.. 

most ppl i met did well for As… scary… hope it won’t be so bad next year…

oh yeah march hols is coming. yey!

CNY holiday = waking up late, watching tv, lots of FOOD! haha…

yups there’s nothing much to do (other than studying of course). It’s actually quite a good time to just stay in the hostel, coz i rarely got the chance to stay in my room during school days.. and yea, i think i’m becoming a bit more efficient this year.. started mugging.. even though i’m watching tv while doing so…

currently in the midst of listening to maths lecture.. haiz…

hmhm… life’s been pretty boring… it’s more of studying this year…