Random thoughts

hm.. uda mo jam 12 tp ms males tidur.. akhir2 ini rasanya there are so many things i need to think about… kayanya pikiran neh susah bgt bisa relax gitu… that’s the thing abt me.. always think too much.. haha..

just had BC meeting.. things are a bit messy nowadays.. i have this feeling that i don’t know what’s going on.. really.. gak tau lah.. guess partly this is my fault.. akhir2 ini terlalu banyak hal2 laen.. jadi ampe gk bisa concentrate… atau masa aku uda mulai gak peduli? have i lost that passion? this thought occurs to me also.. hopefully not.. i dun want to let anybody, esp myself, down.. i used to believe so much in those things, and i still do! should never let go of dreams… yea…

hm.. bsk ad cca.. guitar is so FUN!!! tapi serem juga… concert is drawing near.. nah ini satu lagi yg harus dipikirin.. i dun want other things to prevent me from comitting my time for e concert.. hm.. kan ini uda di plan dari dulu2 gitu… going to have MEGA meeting this sunday.. haha.. must go and prepare.. have to stop thinking and start doing things.. hahaha..

just realised that i’m a v selfish person.. haha. my blog is all about me.. haha.. and the things i write don’t even make sense.. duh gk penting bgt seh… uda malem kali ya jd gk bener gini… haha…

hahahaha.. that’s all i can say now.. td seharusnya ada outing buat anak2 indo NJ, tp yg dateng gk sebrapa banyak seh.. padahal katanya yg j1 bakal dateng semua gitu. haha… well tp seru juga seh, apalagi pas uda akhir2 mau pulang.. pada ngejayus and bikin jokes2 gk jelas.. di bus rame banget, ampe org tidur jadi bangun.. gila, td ketawa non stop sekitar 2 jam kali, ampe mulut n perut dah sakit bgt, gk kuat.. hahaha.. lega banget waktu nyampe hall b, akhirnya bisa bernafas normal lagi..

feel v guilty.. not in the mood of doing school work.. not that there are lots of homework or smth.. but i have not been doing anything this entire week..

hm… gila.. bener2 gk mood ngapa2in.. pikiran kayanya lg gk beres gini.. haiz.. gak tau lah.. gw gk peduli.. untung akhir2 ini lg banyak kerjaan.. jd gk sempat mikirin hal aneh2 yg gk penting.. haha.. kl dipikir2 sometimes i don’t even know myself.. how am i supposed to know abt other things? haiz…. somethings are better left unknown.. gk jelas bgt seh gw.. tau ah..

at pa room in lt 1 now.. haha.. got wireless here.. the drama is starting at 8.. hm.. hopefully i won’t do anything stupid.. they’ve really put in lots of effort for this..

half of my weekend is gone.. just got back fr school at 2230 last night.. and come back to school this morning at 715.. haha.. hm.. school is really becoming my second home.. tomorrow still going to go out some more.. haha..

suddenly feel like posting.. yeah.. nothing much actually.. hm.. school work.. guess a lvl will b quite scary.. esp econs n bio.. not to say that the rest are easy.. dunno what to do if don’t do well.. haha..

enrichment week.. still in a month’s time.. got most of the things i want.. fencing, archery, yoga.. i should’ve signed up for the henna tatooing.. or sign language.. but once agn.. in life we can’t get everything we want.. haha.. somehow back agn to this topic… about having to let go some stuff.. haha.. better dun think abt these things too often, will just confused myself.. but somethings are just stuck there sometimes.. lots of times..

better go to sleep.. i need more sleep……

yey! we made it to GPA final!!! think that everyone did really good yesterday.. but other JCs were really2 good.. esp Millenia institute.. haha..

well.. but this means that i have extra things to do.. at least for the whole of next month.. the final is 25 of march.. it’s not that i mind doing it.. it’s just that i suddenly feel that i’m involved in so many things..

this week i already feel so bad that i couldn’t come for cca at all.. because of mldds drama and gpa.. then tomorrow still got drama full dress rehearsal.. which means i have to skip cca agn.. coz there’s no way that i can skip e rehearsal.. then there’ll be start symposium on wednesday.. and somehow i’m in charge of registration table.. then i can’t come for cca agn.. oh no! will try to find a solution for this.. i really hate it when things are overlapping, i hate it when i cannot commit fully to something..

that’s why i’m quite worried now.. hm… i guess in life you can’t always do all the things you want to do.. choices have to be made.. and somethings have to be forgone.. unlimited wants and limited time.. yea.. i need to think carefully first before doing anything.. haha..

guess in life we can’t always have everything we want also.. haha.. well.. i used to believe that everythings is possible.. but is that really the case? maybe it’s also true that we have to let go once in a while.. but how do you know when to let go? even worse, what if you can’t let go?

ngantuk.. haha.. besok road run.. have been coming back late fr school these past few days.. council interview yesterday.. quite ok lah..

gpa is getting v fun.. we’re not v solid yet, but really do hope we’ll make it into final.. hope that our hard work pays.. haha..

somehow i realy dun care abt school work nowdays.. haha.. not that i have to do it.. must catch up with school work on sunday.. huh…

Haiz.. O level results came out yesterday.. Even though I didn’t get any result but yeah.. must say that this year’s results are quite shocking.. I will be dumbfounded if such things happen to me.. and some more, I suddenly find that this whole things is quite ridiculous.. The O level result slip is just this pink sheet of paper, and it’s not even an A4 size.. maybe only less than half A4.. and this tiny piece of paper decide your destiny.. at least for some people….

I think this is v scary.. what if suddenly I got something that is totally unexpected for A levels? Hope not.. it’s still in 2 years time anyway..

Well.. in every thing there is the good and the bad side.. for everyone who did well.. really congrats! Glad to know that your hard work pays! (Esp. for dem2 and xty.. haha.. )

Quite sad now.. ppl are leaving the hostel.. again… even though I don’t really know all of them v well.. but it’s been real fun to have these ppl ard.. and it’s just sad.. thinking of the things they want to do here, and now they’ve got to move on somewhere else..

Hm.. let’s face the reality of life.. haha.. there are ups and downs in life.. and what we can do is just to make the most of every moment we have… haha…

Niwaez.. will be busy this week.. gpa is next week.. but I’m back to my role as background singer…. Quite relieved I dun have to act… haha..

Suddenly feel like writing.. gk ada yg penting seh.. haha.. akhirnya puisi buat gpa udah ada.. keren juga, temanya patriotism.. singapore banget, tapi ya sudah lah.. emang lagi di singapore kok.. haha.. I was supossed to to be the background musci.. just singing at the back.. but….. they suddenly think that i should be one of the ppl acting.. hm….. well.. the truth is, i really dun mind doing it.. it’s just that i’m afraid i won’t be able to do it well… udah gitu bagian gw gk jelas gitu… hahaha.. tau ah.. moga2 aja bisa.. coz i think this will be my first time acting.. haha.. i’m not really a drama person.. haiz.. shall try to do my best!

yeps, back at normal school days.. in terms of lessons it’s still v ok i guess.. will have my first ever gp lesson tomorrow, hopefully will get a nice teacher.. oh, and we got the PW grouping today.. mine is not bad lah… nice, can work in the hostel.. haha..

CNY holiday, the most i did was eating.. eating fast food.. so bad! but McD is only place open during the hols.. so no choice! haha.. went out almost everyday, except monday… and i think i’ve been spending quite a lot also.. haha..

niwaez, got quite lots of things coming up.. interhall games, hostel election, school election, malay drama production, gpa (gema puisi artistik).. personally i dunno how they’re going to do gpa, the first round will be on 18feb, and i dun think we even have the puisi yet.. quite scary.. and for the malay drama production, i’ll be the pa and lighting crew! so cool! means i’ll be up there in the control room.. so fun.. haha… this is another new experience for me.. that’s why i always like to join lots of things.. you get to learn new stuff and get to know more ppl.. but will have rehearsal every friday also.. starting tml..

but i’d rather have things to do than stoning lah.. i mean.. once in a while stoning and daydreaming is fun.. but yeah, i guess i just want to have things to occupy my mind now.. not good to daydream too much.. haha…